Friends truly are life's mirrors. On a day like today when I wonder just how many more rabbits I can pull out of my hat before someone will see through the smoke and mirrors, my good friends are on the scene to shine a more accurate light on the situation.
I am so many things to so many people and yet I am oblivious to all that I do. If I sat down and made a list of the things I had to do in the course of just one week, it would most likely make the run of the mill person feel tired just reading it (I am not saying this to toot my horn, I am saying this because it was said to me.)
I have such high standards set for myself that when I am "average" or "normal" I feel like I am being a let down to those around me. Exactly when I stopped feeling that it was okay to need help, to not be ON 100% of the time was okay and acceptable and NEEDED, is beyond me. Did I set myself up to be this way? Did I learn this growing up? I don't know. What I do know is that even I get tired. Apparently I think I wear a super hero's cape instead of just a bra & panty just like every other woman. Wait...what? I am not Super Woman? When exactly did that happen?
Most days, I wake up....put on my make up (you know you are now humming that little ditty in your head) and put on a smile and face the day the best way I know how; with a positive attitude. Most of the time this keeps me trucking along my insane schedule feeling like I am a powerful, smart and capable woman. Then BAM my go go go style catches up to me and I all of the sudden feel as though someone has stuck me in a pool of molasses and I can't get moving to save my hide. Somehow, when I hit this place I get so frustrated with myself I think that I must have been failing all along.
Why is it that one slip, one flaw can make me feel as though that is all that there is? It is as though we take one wrong step and we are staring at the funhouse mirror with a seriously skewed perception of reality. Thank God for the blessing of wonderful friends who remind you that "you take on so many things in life that it is no wonder it catches up to you." I assume that everyone does the same things I do and has a similar schedule to the one I have. Apparently I am sorely mistaken. I have come to realize that I am capable of multitasking to the point where I am literally balancing cake tiers worth of activities and somehow....I thrive and I power through and I often do a fantastic job. God has blessed me with so many amazing attributes.
I think my goal within the next year is to thank God more for the energy and abilities that He has given to me and to be more mindful of the things I take on so that I don't crash and burn. I know that when I crash and burn I get down on myself and well....we all know how that cycle goes ;)
